Don’t you just love when you’re getting nice and cozy for bed, you check your pump, and realize you only have 1 unit left? Niiice..
Me: I’m going to eat healthy, low carb high protien low calorie dinner yah!
Broken Pancreas: No. Don’t be silly.
Me: You don’t control me! My diabetes shall not mess up my weight loss goals!
Broken Pancreas: Wanna bet bitch?
Me: You’re on!
*3 hours later, the scene in the above picture unfolded*
Broken Pancreas: Told you so.
Me: If you weren’t broken already, I’d stab you.
Broken Pancreas: Shut up and drink your 140 calorie coke. And eat something with calories too - carbs and protein, because I said so.
Me: …
Broken Pancreas: Or else you’ll wake up in the middle of the night and 45 will look beautifully high compared to what you’ll be.
Me: Help, diabetes has taken me hostage!
I was really struggling with controlling my diabetes. My a1c level was 10.1 or something, my highest in my life. The next visit I had it was 8.3 or so. I brought it down all by myself. I think it spiked again, I can’t remember.
I had a time I was getting into the swing of things again but now I’m not. I want to be in control again without it feeling like a burden so much. I need to be in control. Not just for my lifestyle but more upcoming things. I need to prove to my family I can manage it while I’m on a mission trip for a week this summer. I need to manage it so they’ll let me go away for college and I’m so afraid I’m going to fail them.
I constantly want to just break down and cry because of how hard it is to have this. The worst part is that I try to tell my friends how tough it is or how much I hate it and they don’t take it seriously, like it’s not a big deal.
I feel so sick.
Ive posted before about my diabulemia. But its getting worse. Im starting to feel how I felt when I first got diabetes. The burning feeling in my throat and the nausea. I havent taken a shot in over a month. I’m not loosing weight anymore. the scales still say 130. I want to have a flat tummy like all the normal girls. Not this fatass Diabetic Pouche sack. Its so ugly. I just want to feel pretty. I feel so fat… Why me?
Diabulimia Helpline 1-425-985-3635
My “non-diabetic” confession
My mom’s a nurse and I love her to death but I hate when she lectures me about my boyfriends diabetes. She tells me life won’t be normal if we marry, he’ll have complications, how we won’t be financially stable, etc. Well, all I have to say is fvck you. I’m an adult, I live away from home and I can make my own decisions. I know there are complications and things to keep in mind but I won’t let that get between us. I support him just as he supports me. Just because someone has a disease, doesn’t mean they are worth less as an individual. My boyfriend is probably stronger in the mind, heart and spirit compared to any “normal” person and he makes me just as strong. And I support every single one of you guys on this site. I attend diabetic walks as much as I can and I try to put myself in your shoes. Please stay strong because there are people out there who will love you no matter what the case is.
A lot of the younger diabetics (15, 16 year olds) I know have come to me recently, feeling lost and overwhelmed. I’m twenty years old, diabetic for 16. It’s been a wonderful partnership :/ This is the advice I gave them, and I hope you can find it of some help in your diabetes journey.
It has been said that anyone who’s unhappy usually doesn’t feel that they are in control of their life, and i think that this phrase definitely rings true for both of us. I’ve suffered from a chronic medical condition my whole life, and while I appear to be an average teenager on the outside - making my own decisions about going university, going to parties, and going out with guys - in reality, my disease was controlling my life. And let’s be honest – feeling helpless when it comes to health is SHIT. The most annoying but accurate sentiment I’ve heard is: you can’t control the situation, but you can control how you respond the situation. Mostly, it makes me want to punch the pompous idiot that’s telling me that in the face, but it also, reluctantly, makes me want to try. Saying that, you’re perfectly entitled to say “This isn’t fair” “Why me” “I fucking hate this” I didn’t ask for this” “I’ve done NOTHING wrong.” Validate your feelings, it’s healthy. Everybody’s doing it. It’s the next Harlem Shake.
Personally, after three extremely rough years, filled with botched suicide attempts and eating disorders, I was over it. I was at the point that I was trying so hard to get better, but if my disease suddenly took a massive downturn – BAM – depression. I couldn’t control it. That’s why I started taking anti-depressants (Zoloft) [I may or may not have been swayed by the extremely sexy Jake Gyllenhaal hawking this product in the movie “Love & other Drugs” ;)]. But seriously, they have changed my life, for the better. I’ve always hated the idea of this kind of medication. There is such a stigma attached. I thought I would become an emotionless robot. I didn’t. It just makes the bad times that you can’t control, a little easier. Maybe they will help you through this time of uncertainty. Maybe they will give you a little boost to feel a little better about the cards that have been dealt to you. Or maybe you are an amazingly strong person would can deal with you situation by yourself. I would love if you were! But if not, there is no shame in asking for help. Counselling, medication – whatever works for you. And I don’t want you to feel like im preaching – I’m a normal girl just tryin’ to figure it all out. And as you can tell, I’m extremely passionate about this topic, going by the novel I have just written. I care about this issue, and I care about what happens to you. I wish you luck. Lots of love.
I seriously hate the sweet amonia-y smell I get in my nose and my mouth when my blood sugar is high. It’s so nauseating. I hate a lot of other things about having diabetes, too, but this one is hitting me now. I’m not the only one who experiences this, right?
I’m so tired.
I am 18 and I’ve been t1 diabetic for 6 years now. I used to tell my friends that diabetes isn’t a burden, its a gift. Thats when I took care of myself. But now it takes over my life. I have stopped taking my shots. I eat all day and I could care less what my sugar is running. It’s a crappy feeling to know that your loosing control like this.I refuse to take my shots not only because I want things to be the way they were when I was younger, but because I loose weight when I dont take my shots. It makes me feel lovely. I just want it all to end. I want to take care of my body because my liver is already shutting down. Im barely a grown up and My body is quitting. I can’t find the strength to take care of myself on my own. I’m so ashamed.
Diabulimia Helpline 1-425-985-3635
