DiabetiConfessions
One of the most frustrating aspects of diabetes…

[Confession: This shit is one reason among many that I often find it so difficult to care about my diabetes.]

(Besides the obvious lack of control over my own body, emotions hijacked by blood sugar swings, etc.)

Is the damn hoops I have to jump through in order to get a hormone that my body should naturally produce. I NEED this hormone to live. It is essential, more so even than an addictive illegal substance. Those withdrawals are hell, mine are hell and eventual coma, brain-damage, loss of limb and organ function, and, if not hospitalized in enough time after entering diabetic ketoacidosis (which is the hell-wthdrawals I have spoken of), death. I know I sound like I’m just being self-pitying and negative, but bear with me as I make my point. My insulin is essential.

So with that in mind, back to the hoops.

I need to fill my prescription for insulin. So, the day I open my last bottle I call the pharmacy. (Monday) I am informed that I have reached the limits of my refills, and in order to pick up this month’s prescription of insulin I need to have an endocrinologist authorize my prescription. So the pharmacy faxes the request to them. Thursday, it has still not been authorized. At this point, I find out that the pharmacy is still sending it to pediatrics, who I have not seen in over a year.

So I instruct them to send it to my new endocrinologist. Thus completed, I wait an hour and call the endo to confirm that it is there. They inform me that the doctor will be in that afternoon (Thursday) to authorize and send it back to the pharmacy. I call the pharmacy repeatedly Thursday and Friday. They have not received anything. Call the endo’s office back Friday to find out what this issue is, and they close early on Fridays, so I’m shit out of luck.

I call today (Monday), as I watch my insulin bottle dwindle and thank my lucky stars that I don’t throw out pump reservoirs that are slightly full of insulin still. (I hoard them in the fridge for emergencies like this, but I don’t have very many that are still within the appropriate dates, and this is a highly inadvisable option anyway, begged from desperation.) My pharmacy still has not received authorization. I call the endo’s office. They have confirmed authorization sent over last Thursday, but she sent it over again this morning and confirmed with me that she had the correct pharmacy location. I call the pharmacy back. They have nothing. I call the endo office back. The nurse resends it yet again and informs me that they use that pharmacy all the time and essentially blames the pharmacist for being unable to find it. After this call I took a break to eat lunch and write this rant. I am now back, having called the pharmacy once again. I finally got a different technician (I’ve had the same woman for the last week). This technician could not even seem to understand what I was asking for. I clarified for the 3rd time that yes, I have called my doctors office twice today to confirm that they have resent the prescription twice today, and once last week. Yes, I have ALREADY done that. At this point he still cannot find it so I ask to speak to someone higher up, like a manager or supervisor. He stammers and asks me to hold. Then he comes BACK to the phone, not to connect me to a supervisor, but to tell me that he just went and checked the fax again (after I told him that it was not sent over via fax, and was sent over electronically). I hung up.

I’m not sure that there are any more hoops for me to jump through at this point, and I have still not received my treat life sustaining medication.

This is just this week’s fiasco.
I like to find the positive in things, though. The silver lining so to speak.

I will be so diabadass at answering phones in a work setting one day.

[The following is yet another rant on jumping through hoops, this time on the hoops of just seeing a basic internal medicine doctor for a check-up and routine advice.]

When I switched out of pediatric care I had to go and see an internal medicine (IM) doctor ($20 copay) so that she could inform me that I was still diabetic and write me referrals to go see an endocrinologist (the doctor who will oversee my diabetes care). I had other questions for that IM doctor which she refused to answer until… I saw the endocrinologist ($20), had blood work done ($20), saw an ophthalmologist ($20) to check for diabetic retinopathy, and went to the Diabetic Treatment Center for a meeting with a nurse who essentially told me that I understood diabetes adequately and could call him if I had any questions. (Well no shit, I’ve only had it since I was 4 years old.) Cute, right? Well, I cover all my bases and my endo wants a follow-up appointment, so I schedule that, end up having to cancel and reschedule. They don’t have his schedule, so I continually call back. Finally, he has an opening, but it’s during the first day of one of my classes at school, or the second day of that class (I attend a UC). The next time they have open on a day I don’t have afternoon class is a month and a half later, the day after my referral to endocrinology expires. So I could go back to the IM, have her tell me to go back to the endo, then go there. So screw that, I’ll just skip the 2nd day of class.

So I have an appointment for the endocrinologist for the second day of the first week of classes. Once that commences and he gives me the all clear, I can schedule a follow-up with my Internal Medicine doctor and receive advice on a few health worries and issues I’ve had lately.

Really, this is why I have a philosophy of just not giving a single fuck about my health and shrugging my shoulders when I’m told to get my health under control.

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